October 30, 2017
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“'God is LOVE!' – BUT - 'I HATE Divorce!'”
However, today it often feels like people who find themselves in this predicament and are told of Yahweh God's attitude toward divorce, are hardly ever told the 'rest of the story'. A careful reading of the larger context of this statement provides more information not expressed in this terse declaration. And it is critical for us to understand exactly what our Lord is and is not saying.
Why does Yahweh God hate divorce so very much?! When God says; “I hate divorce!', all we are hearing is His denunciation, without an adequate explanation. What's going on here?! Yahweh's whole agenda goes far beyond His intent to condemn a detestable ACTION. Actually He is denouncing an ATTITUDE of heart that is deeply entrenched in selfishness and greed! And His full intention is the unmasking of evil in calloused hearts that have no qualms or guilt in committing cruel and detestable actions against those that they should love and honor the most!
I know for a fact that people who have found themselves on the 'wrong' side of the marriage/divorce equation as they were confronted with Yahweh God's blunt denunciation, have experienced a tremendous level of discomfort-- even grief and despair (whether deserved or not). The shock-value of Malachi's abbreviated quote has often found its mark. However, I suspect a little more context would be helpful in knowing what our Lord was actually saying. Consider the larger context of Malachi's rant against the people of Israel;
“The Lord God of Israel says, 'I hate divorce. And I hate people who do cruel things as easily as they put on clothes,' says the Lord of heaven's armies. So be careful. And do not break your trust.” [read its full context in vs.13-16]
In this context, we are given a glimpse into the heart of Yahweh God. He hates divorce not strictly because of His nature as a God completely dedicated to establishing sacred relationships (covenants) among those whom He created for deep and fulfilling relationship. He hates divorce because often it becomes a convenient tool to dispose of a relationship that has become sour, tired or just plain routine. The freshness and excitement that once flourished in this relationship have been allowed to significantly diminish and eventually die. Hearts are hardened toward each other so that the tenderness and compassion that were once nourished by a vital love, has been replaced by suspicion and bitterness giving rise to a disgust and hatred that opens the floodgates of cruelty and indifference! No wonder divorce is the natural and inevitable result.
Yahweh God is “all in” for strong long-lasting, robust relationships, particularly within the realm of marriage which is the primary tool for encouraging and building a healthy life among those of His creation. By His very nature, because He is “Love”, He completely detests anything that tears down and disrupts the equilibrium of this most basic and essential foundation of human society.
Yahweh God is a relationship establishing God.- this is what He is and has always been about! His whole intent for all humanity is that they be in full/close relationship with Himself and with each other. This truth is driven home over and over again in Scripture! Jesus made it clear that the greatest commandment is to “Love the Lord your God with all of your heart, soul and mind” -- AND the second greatest is to -- “Love your neighbor as yourself!” – PERIOD!
“God is love”, but He “hates divorce”. Why? Because divorce is completely against and opposed to everything He is and stands for! Divorce is the breaking of a sacred trust and covenant/relationship existing between a man and a woman. It is the failure of two people who have pledged undying love and devotion to one another. The intent of marriage has always been a 'for life' decision of two people to maintain this relation-ship with each other come “hell or high water”.
Our Lord hates divorce because it violently violates every good thing that He has intended for the crown of His creation. And so, the very nature of Yahweh God compels Him to be opposed to actions that rip apart the very tapestry of relationships that are designed to hold people closely together for life!
A couple years ago my son, who teaches various classes from time to time in a Northern Indiana church, asked this question to a group of multi-aged individuals (teens to seniors) in a class on Ecclesiastes; “What would you say the deepest hurt you have ever experienced to this point in your life has been?” He was caught completely off guard by the initial responses to that question. After a moment's pause, three individuals spoke up with the same answer. The greatest hurt or loss had not been the death of a child or a parent. It had not been the loss of one's job or a home. It had not been a tragic accident. No – All three spoke of a divorce somewhere along the way that had reeked havoc in their lives whether it had happened to them directly or to their parents or some other close relative or acquaintance. This is not to say that the loss of a loved one or loss of something as significant as a home had not been a traumatic or horrendous event in one's life. It was just a real surprise for Craig to hear that people's first response to his question involved the disastrous effects of divorce.
And if you think about it, we have all been affected either directly or indirectly by divorce. It has become one ever-present reality in American life. Every single one of us has been touched by the devastation that divorce always brings.
But would it surprise you to learn that Yahweh God Himself has been directly effected by divorce? There is a very real sense in which we could call God a 'divorcee'! Hear Jeremiah's scathing rebuke against both the people of Israel and Judah;
“The Lord said to [Jeremiah], 'Have you seen what faithless Israel has done? She has gone up on every hill and under every spreading tree and has committed adultery there. I thought that after she had done all this she would return to me but she did not, and her unfaithful sister Judah saw it. I gave faithless Israel her certificate of divorce and sent her away because of her adulteries. Yet I saw that her faithless sister Judah had no fear; she also went out and committed adulteries. Because Israel's immorality mattered so little to her, she defiled the land and committed adultery with stone and wood. In spite of all this, her unfaithful sister Judah did not return to me with all of her heart, but only in pretense,' declares the Lord.” (Jeremiah 3;6-10)
Yahweh God was Himself, a victim of DIVORCE! In fact, consider this: “We all like sheep, have gone astray, each of us has turned to his own way; and the Lord has laid upon Him the iniquity of us all” [Isaiah 53:6]! In relation to every single person of all humanity, our Lord has always been loyal to us, His creation. But we, like an unfaithful partner have ALL turned our backs on Him. (Romans 3:10-12)
And so the impassioned lament of Yahweh God in Hosea drives home the intense longing and broken-heartedness that He shares with everyone of us when our relationships 'crash and burn';
“But HOW CAN I GIVE UP ON YOU . . . ?! How can I turn you loose, Israel? How can I leave you to be ruined like Admah, devastated like luckless Zeboim? I can't bear to even think such thoughts. My insides churn in protest. And so I'm not going to act on my anger. I'm not going to destroy Ephraim. And why? Because I am God and not a human. I'm the Holy One and I am here – in your very midst.” (Hosea 11:8-9 [MSG])
Finally, in the midst of the flood of tears, the frustration, the gut-wrenching agony and even the white hot rage of jealousy and rejection, Yahweh God just cannot go through with it! “RETURN O faithless Israel . . , I will frown on you no longer, for [I'm not just hanging back to punish you. I'm committed in love to you. My anger doesn't seethe nonstop.] . . . Acknowledge your guilt – you have rebelled against the Lord your God.” (Jeremiah 3:12-13 NIV/[MSG]) - - {Emphasis Mine}
I honestly believe divorce is hardly ever a good solution, but unfortunately all too often it is the only solution! In some instances people have been made to feel guilty because of divorce – in many instances, like Israel, that guilt is appropriate. And so, when we begin to understand that Yahweh God hates divorce not simply because He is God, but also because He Himself is consistently the unwilling victim of divorce and shares in our grief and devastation, then we also begin to understand that He is not against us, but rather understands what we have and are experiencing. He identifies with us completely. And when we can begin to understand this, we also begin to realize that the sadness and shame we feel whether we are directly or indirectly affected by divorce, is also intimately shared by our Lord. He hates divorce in our lives because it not only violates the very nature of who He is as the covenant-establishng God, but because He understands intimately the horrendous hurt, devastation and permanent alienation and separation that divorce imposes upon people who have no desire to be single again. He suffers with them in their extreme pain and shame – the same rejection He experiences in ALL of His relationships with humanity!
And so when the Lord through Jeremiah, blasts Israel for her blatant and indifferent attitude toward divorce (“I hate divorce!”), we are able to identify with His anger and disgust, because we hate divorce as well as He! [I mean, who has ever relished the thought of going through another divorce?!]
We are told in the Scripture that God HATES divorce and anyone who has even the slightest understanding of Scripture understands that satan LOVES divorce. Let me ask a question - - Where do YOU stand? If you Love divorce, you obviously stand with satan. If you Hate divorce (even if you have found yourself to be divorced) it could very well be that you stand with God. Where do you stand?
He hates divorce so much because God is Love, if it's possible to wrap your mind around that!
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